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Writer's pictureTaj Mayfield

Rating Singles on a Saturday Night

Lil Uzi Vert. Future. A$AP Ferg. Nicki Minaj. Wiz Khalifa. Lil Baby. Polo G. And More.

Disclaimer: This week's singles suck.


It's truly a terrible batch of music, but the series must go on.

 

How it works: Each song will get a short review followed by a Tinder-style rating of swipe right or swipe left. For Tinder context, swipe right means approval, and swipe left means rejection.


The same concept applies to this series, but instead of the swipe deciding sex or no sex, they dictate stream or no stream. Each swipe decision will also be accompanied by a general theme of the swipe.


Ex.) Swipe Right(Regret in Morning)

Disclaimer: If the intro didn't give it away, this series is freer than other articles on SoundSports. Bias will show. Jokes will flow. If you happen to be a recruiter trying to gauge my fit in your company, pick another article.

 

Future & Lil Uzi Vert "Over Your Head"

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, Future should never have a collab album with someone in their 20s again.


Over the last six years and across 15 projects, Future has only missed on collab albums with an artist several years younger than him.


2017's highly-anticipated Super Slimey with Young Thug was objectively terrible, but both artists are legends so everyone let it slide. 2018's WRLD on Drugs became one of the most forgettable albums of the year, despite co-starring that year's hottest new artist and having features from Thug, Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj and Gunna.


What made Future's collab album with Drake so special was its diversity.


Outside of "30 for 30 Freestyle", What A Time To Be Alive didn't touch on many deep subjects, mainly focusing on drugs, status and women. But the album managed to become one of the best full-length collaborations in recent memory because Future and Drake found a way to make the same three things sound different every time.


Anyone familiar with Future and Lil Uzi's catalog knows what this project will be about—drugs, status and women. Can Future and Lil Uzi make those three worn-out topics engaging for an entire project like WATTBA?


"Over Your Head" says yes.


Swipe: Right (Send More Pics)

 

Future & Lil Uzi Vert "Patek"

"Patek" says no.


The second single is the complete opposite of "Over Your Head".


Its content is scattered. The verses would be too long for a Griselda member. And worst of all, the track is just forgettable.


There's a lot wrong with "Patek", but every flaw stems from how long the song is.


The track's playtime automatically puts both artists at a clear disadvantage.


"Over Your Head" was three minutes long, and it allowed both artists to sound focused. At five minutes, "Patek" leaves too much time for Future and Uzi to ramble on subjects that don't deserve rambling.


The song is longer than any track off Future's High Off Life and Uzi's Eternal Atake. In fact, between the 52 total songs on the two albums, only one (Future's "Accepting My Flaws") reaches the four-minute mark.


The song has a few high points like Uzi repeating, "Baby, I'm better off lying to you" and strongly singing the ethnicity of his new girl, but the high points are forgotten by the time the song finally ends.


Swipe: Left (Talks Too Much)

 

Murda Beatz "DOORS UNLOCKED" (feat. Polo G & Ty Dolla $ign)

SoundSports Tip: If you want high-quality, slept on music, find songs or projects under a producer's name.


Songs will feature the same artists people already love, but chances are many don't even know they exist because producer projects are the Cinderellas of the rap community.


For example, Metro Boomin, arguably the biggest producer of the last decade, released one of the best projects of 2018 and couldn't crack 100,000 first-week sales. Metro's numbers were good and the project charted number one for the week, but considering the reliance on production today and the notoriety of producers, the peak of modern-day producer projects should be closer to the peak of performer projects.


With that being said, this Murda Beatz single is not it.


On paper, Ty Dolla $ign and Polo G are an interesting duo. Ty Dolla $ign doesn't miss on features, and Polo G has proven he can carry a song about women. But on "DOORS UNLOCKED", the two on the same track is a tough listen.


Polo G's verse was as average as a Polo G verse could be, and without anyone to compliment, Ty Dolla $ign has to carry the song too much for him to shine like normal.


Swipe: Left (Boring Friend)

 

A$AP Ferg "Move Ya Hips" (feat. MadeinTYO & Nicki Minaj)

This one almost didn't get reviewed. It sucked that bad for the first minute.


Nicki Minaj saving a song in 2020 would warrant an entire paragraph on how she hasn't sounded this good since 2014 and maybe a legend is returning to form, but I watch too much basketball to get excited over a future Hall of Famer dropping 30 on the New York Knicks.


Even with Nicki Minaj's great performance, the song is still really bad. Her verse is the only part of the song that sounds complete; the rest sounds more like a demo than a single. And while Minaj's verse shows glimpses of her past self, A$AP Ferg and MadeinTYO make it not worth the struggle.


Swipe: Left (Recently Divorced Hot Mom with No Fun Friends)

 

Juicy J "Gah Damn High" (feat. Wiz Khalifa)

This week's singles have been low quality.


"Gah Damn High" is no different, but it has a great personality.


The track's production paired with Juicy J's funny writing, and Wiz Khalifa's short but engaging feature makes up for the fact that this is a song no one would want to hear.


Swipe: Right (Personality Swipe)

 

NLE Choppa "Narrow Road" (feat. Lil Baby)

Come for Lil Baby, leave curious about NLE Choppa's upcoming album.


NLE Choppa doesn't seem to be shying away from the NBA Youngboy comparisons at all.


From the hook to his delivery to the track's aesthetics, "Narrow Road" has Youngboy written all over it.


Two artists in the same lane with the same style usually sees one artist taking off while the other is left behind (i.e. Wale and J. Cole, Vic Mensa and Chance the Rapper, Smokepurpp and Lil Pump). The notoriety of NBA Youngboy compared to NLE Choppa points towards Youngboy being the one to really take off, but the differences in contracts make it interesting.


While Youngboy is currently in one of the worst deals in rap, the 17-year-old Choppa has his own label and owns all his masters. It'll be interesting to see how the same style performs under two completely different circumstances.


Swipe: Right (Reminds You of Someone)

 

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